How to preserve a husband
Be careful in selection; do not choose to unripe or to old.
Best results are obtained if he has been reared in a healthy atmosphere.
Some insist upon keeping him in a pickle. Others prefer to keep him in hot water. However, such treatment makes the husband sour, hard, and sometimes bitter.
Many wives have found that even poor varieties can be rendered tender and good a garnish of patience, the sweetening of a smile, and flavoring of a kiss to taste.
Wrap him in a mantle of charity, place him over a warm steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with peaches and cream.
This is soo cute, you are definetly not a dork or at least not the only one :) :)
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